Sometimes Perfection Can Be Perfect Hell
by broodyleytons
Summary: Basically its a PeytonLeyton fic-of course. Read to find out if you like it or not.
1. Prolouge

**Sometimes Perfection Can Be Perfect Hell**

_Bruised_

Prologue

Disclaimer: Nadaa.

Peyton Sawyer was sitting tightly tucked into her queen size bed with "Bruised" by Jack's Mannequin filling up the air in her room. Jack seemed to be the only one who hit right on the spot, went straight to the core of the problem, to the midst of the disaster. It still amazed Peyton how well music explain so many things to her with just a mere note or line. It was easier, in her opinion, to listen to a set of songs than to talk to a person or friend or a parent; not that hers was any where to be seen most of the time. It was neutral, music that is. When she is happy she listens to Tegan and Sara and Fall Out Boy. When she was angry, She Wants Revenge would be her ultimate choice. When she was confused you could hear Jimmy Eat World, The 88, Kill Hannah, Matchbox Romance and maybe some Bright Eyes blasting throughout her vacant house at three o' clock in the morning. When she was depressed you could hear anything from Led Zeppelin to Jack's Mannequin; as of now.

_I've got my things, I'm good to go  
You met me at the terminal  
Just one more plane ride and it's done_

As she heard the first lines, she remembered, and some could say she remember far to well, what happened that fateful day. She remembered what smell was in the air, how the light hit her face, how one single tear could feel like the last of everything she had fought back for, for so long. And all that pushing and begging and promises expected to be kept by both parties gone in a matter of a couple of words, 3 seconds, and two steps. She was gone, and possibly forever. Her best friend was gone forever and there was no going back and fixing the heap of mess she made. Brooke and Peyton were no more. It was just Peyton…and the Brooke and Lucas.

_We stood like statues at the gate  
Vacation's come and gone too late  
There's so much sun where I'm from  
I had to give it away, had to give you away_

Lucas was always in her heart. Always and forever you could say. They had their falling out and he fell into the arms of Brooke Davis, her ex best friend. She always thought that someday, somehow he'd come back to her. But after the wedding reception she caught a glimpse of what confirmed that he was always going to be hers. _Not mine. Never mine._ Peyton had to make that stay in her brain whether she wanted to accept it or not. Even when it was "well-known", Peyton was nuts about Lucas Scott. He was an athlete without defiance. He was everything she wasn't, or ay least not what she showed everyone else at Tree Hill High. That is what intrigued her so damn much. He had a story and she was determined to find it out. _But then Brooke got into the way and snatched him away from me_. Brooke got to find out his story.

_And we spent four days on an  
Island at your family's old hotel  
Sometimes perfection can be  
It can be perfect hell, perfect..._

-&-

**Was it good? Now I want responses and questions and advice, ideas, etc etc etc! **

**DON'T WORRY I AM STILL WRITING Broken Promises, Broken Hearts and Broken Dreams. I just saw the Season 4 Premiere and got an idea. SO. No Worries. It's all good. thumbs up**


	2. Why Pretend?

**Sometimes Perfection Can Be Perfect Hell**

_Why Pretend_

Chapter One

Disclaimer: Nothing. Nor do I own Mandi Perkins' song "Why Pretend".

"Maybe I shouldn't be with you Luke…I mean we aren't even good for each other anymore." Brooke said to Lucas who was standing over by the basketball net holding onto the ball and looking out into the river.

"So you are saying that we are over, just like that?" Lucas asked, not taking his eyes off the water.

Brooke felt a tear slid down her face. This was hurting her too but she couldn't stay with him anymore, not that the truth was reveled to her only a few days ago. "Yes." She muttered.

Lucas threw the basketball aside and swiftly turned around to face her. "Look me in the eyes and say it. Say that everything I have felt has been a lie, and if it hasn't, then tell me where we went wrong."

Brooke's breath quickened and she began to grow a little scared by his actions. "I just realized that I have been holding onto this relationship for you, not for me." She closed her eyes when speaking the last three words. She didn't want to have to see the look of utter confusion and hurt that now took over his face.

"Brooke, that doesn't make any sense at all." Lucas said in a hush voice.

_Don't look at me  
I know what you've done  
When the night falls  
She's not the only one_

Brooke inhaled deeply and tried to calm herself before saying what she had rehearsed the night before. "Since Keith died you have pushed me away. I am not saying you meant to or anything but what I am saying is you did. I was no longer able to be let in. I never knew what was on your mind. And I guess in that process I forgot how to miss you." She tried to push back the tears but they began to fall freely. Lucas brought a hand up to wipe them away but Brooke pushed it off. "I don't love you anymore. And you don't love me anymore."

_Its been the same  
For a thousand years  
You wont change your ways  
No one seems to care_

She turned her head away and wiped the tears remaining and let go of Lucas's hand.

"So we are done?" He asked in a monotone voice.

_She is lying  
To herself again  
You don't love her  
Why pretend?  
You are lying  
To yourself again  
You don't love her  
Why pretend?_

"Yes Lucas, we are done." Brooke said, as she pronounced every syllable and every word her heart broke even more. It felt like a thousand bricks were laid upon her heart while a million needles pricked her skin. But she had to say it. She, Brooke Davis, had fallen out of love. And she couldn't remember why it was so easy…

_I know the truth  
I'm not blind you know  
I keep telling you  
its time to let her go_

-&-

Later that evening

Peyton was in her room listening to Jack's Mannequin when she was rudely interrupted from her inner ramblings and sketching with a knock on the door. She laid her sketch pad on the corner of the bed and turned down the music.

As she traveled down the stairs she wondered who it must be. Brooke? No, she wouldn't come here when she could beat the living shit out of her in front of the student body at school tomorrow. Lucas? Maybe. He seems to not know what went on after Haley's wedding reception. So I am going for Lucas.

Sure enough it was Lucas.

"Hey." She said in the sweetest voice ever to be heard of man.

"Hi. Can we talk?" Lucas asked.

"Yeah sure. Come on in." Peyton stepped aside. Lucas looked real beaten up. "Are you okay?"

Lucas sat down on the sofa and shook his head. "No. Not really. You see Brooke broke up with me, just an hour ago. And I don't know why. She told me but it doesn't all fit."

Peyton couldn't ignore the silent flip of joy her stomach gave her. But Lucas needed her to be there for him so she was. She shut her inner happiness up and looked deeply into Lucas's eyes. "What did she say exactly?"

"She said I pushed her away and that I didn't love her anymore, not like I use to. But that isn't true. I love her so much; she is my 'Pretty Girl'. You even know that. I just do not get it. How something so rich and true can be over with in a matter of a day." Lucas paused for a second. "Maybe you could talk to her. She is your best friend after all, you know her the best." Lucas wore an optimistic expression.

Peyton frowned. "I am afraid I don't really know her that well anymore. Well I do but,-" Peyton inhaled then exhaled deeply. "It's complicated Luke." She got up and walked into the kitchen to fix herself a cup of coffee. Lucas followed her.

"What do you mean 'it's complicated'?" His eyebrows rose. She knew she was going to have to explain sooner or later; while she hoped for later she knew she had to sooner.

"You see Lucas, she found out about the kiss. That's why it is excruciatingly complicated. She ended our friendship. We are over, forever possibly. But you see that isn't all…I said something else, something much bigger than that." Peyton began to feel claustrophobic and had to get out.

Lucas walked closer to her and grabbed her right arm. "What did you say Peyt?"

Just then Lucas's phone began to ring.

"Aren't you going to get that?" Peyton asked, hoping he would and then she wouldn't have to admit to saying she had feelings for him again, or that she never stop having them.

Lucas narrowed his eyes at her and knew she was trying to get out of telling him what was going on. But he also knew he had to answer his phone call.

"Hello?" He said. "Wait! What Rachel? Calm down. We will be right there." Lucas hung up the phone.

"What was that about?" Peyton asked, worry in her eyes.

"That was Rachel. Nathan, Haley and Cooper are in the hospital."

-&-

**Did you like it? Yes? No? Give me FEEDBACK PLEASEEEE!**


	3. Contradicting Words

**Sometimes Perfection Can Be Perfect Hell**

_Contradicting Words_

Chapter Two

Peyton was frozen in time, if Lucas hadn't dragged out of her house and into his car, she would probaly still be in her room staring at her walls.

"What if they arent-" Lucas choked.

Peyton looked at him and laid her hand upon his and gave it a small squeeze. "They are troopers, it will all be okay Luke. You gotta believe that." She smiled softly.

Lucas thought he saw something in Peyton's eyes, like love or something but he brushed it off. She was probaly just worried. He nodded.

Peyton heard the soft melodies coming from the radio and smiled. It was one of her favorite songs by Jesse Baylin.

You may be my heroArmored head to toeYou may be the oneWhose age would never showSay you will be mineAt least until sunriseHold me in your arms and love me

She started to hum along and tap her fingers to the beat.

"Know it?" Lucas spoke up for what seemed like forever.

"Yeah, its 'Contradicting Words' by Jesse Baylin. You know it?" Peyton asked, looking at him from aboe her Susie O sunglasses.

"Yeah, I like it a lot. It has a nice ring to it and it makes so muh sence. Ya know?" Lucas agreed, still looking at the road ahead of him.

"Mhmm." Peyton nodded.

"What if Brooke is there?" Peyton asked.

Lucas sighed rather loudly. "I don't know. But it isnt a time for that, we need to be there for Nathan, Haley, and Coop. Don't worry Peyton," He said and then took a glance at her. "You're not to blame, I was. I accidently told her about the kiss."

Peyton swallowed. "Yeah, I know, but still I kissed you. It is all my fault. Why am I so stupid?" She kind of asked herself aloud.

"You're not stupid Peyt, just a kid. Like me, and like Brooke. Someday, somehow, we will all get over this." Lucas promised.

Shortly after they arrived at the Hospitol. "Ready?" He looked down at her as he opened her door.

She got out and fixed the hem of her shirt. "Ready as I'll ever be." She faked a smile.

&&--

Once inside it wasn't that hard to find everyone. Deb and Dan,Karen, Rachel and Mouth, even Skills and Bevin were there. Lucas was able to spot Brooke yet though, which gave him relief.

"I don't see her." He whispered to Peyton as the approached the group.

"Yeah, well, don't hold your breath too long." Peyton pointed to a girl in the corner, rocking herself. It was Brooke and she was still in her red bridesmaid dress from the wedding.

Lucas gulped, but began to walk over to her. Peyton stayed behind, fearing another slap in the face for showing up with Lucas.

She walked over to Karen. "Have you heard anything Ms. Roe?" Peyton asked polietly, taking a seat next to Karen.

"Please, you have known forever, call me Karen. But I have heard that it isnt good. Cooper is in a coma, the doctors arent sure if or when he will awake; Nathan is consciene but on a lot of meds and broke both his arms and puncured a lung; as for Haley, well we hvent heard anything. I am so worried Peyton, and I keep dailing her parents number but they wont pick up." She threw her cell phone down into her purse.

Peyton saw that she was stressed and pulled her into a hug.

When they released. Karen whispered "Thank you, Peyton."

"No problem, I hate the hospitols but when my friends are here, I try and go anyway." She smiled weakly.

Karen put her hand on Peyton's face, "You're a great friend Peyton." Then she got up to go talk to Deb and Dan.

Peyton looked around and spotted Brooke and Lucas standing up but still deep in conversation. She let out a sigh and debeated if she go over there or not. She heard a loud sob and saw that Brooke was walking towards the girl's restroom.

"What happened?" She approached Lucas.

"We had another fight. She got upset that I was at your house."

Peyton mentally rolled her eyes. Brooke was always protective over Lucas, even when they were broken up. "Are you serious? I mean come on, she broke up with you Luke." She said.

"Yeah I know but it is just so aggrivating. That kiss was so long ago and its not like you meant it like that, right?" Lucas asked.

Peyton just nodded, but felt her heart breaking, How am I going to tell him now? She though.

&&--

**Well, that is all I could write for today. I hit a writer's block as you can see. Please Please PLEASE give me ideas. PLEASEEEEE. **

**Later. Reviews are nice as welllll.**

**Oh and the song is "Contradicting Words" by Jesse Baylin.**


	4. What Do You Know About Me?

**Sometimes Perfection Can Be Perfect Hell**

_"Run"_

Chapter Three

"What happened?" She approached Lucas.

"We had another fight. She got upset that I was at your house."

Peyton mentally rolled her eyes. Brooke was always protective over Lucas, even when they were broken up. "Are you serious? I mean come on, she broke up with you Luke." She said.

"Yeah I know but it is just so aggravating. That kiss was so long ago and its not like you meant it like that, right?" Lucas asked.

Peyton just nodded, but felt her heart breaking, How am I going to tell him now? She thought.

"Right?"

Lucas' voice cut Peyton out of her inner ramblings. "Huh?" she mumbled to him.

"The kiss, it isnt like it meant anything, right? You were shot and teetering unconscieness." Lucas looked deeply into her eyes.

Peyton swallowed and opened her mouth to say something when a red blur entered her view. She shifted her eyes over to Brooke in the background, glaring at her. She shifhted her eyes back on Lucas who now wore an anxious look upon his face; almost like he needed her to lie.

Looking back at Brooke, who was walking towards them, Peyton spoke. "A kiss is a kiss, and it always means something Luke, remember?" She said in a hurt tone.

Lucas frowned, not sure how he felt, but turned around to see what Peyton's eyes were glued to.

Peyton took that chance to turn around on her heel and walk away.

Lucas heard Peyton's footsteps make their way across the waiting room, away from him. "Peyton!" He yelled.

Brooke smirked which made Lucas turn around. "What?" He said in a tired voice.

"You are already trying to find someone to fill my spot and she rejected you. It is just sort of amusing is all." She smiled in a kniving way and then walked over to Karen and gave her a hug.

Lucas sighed in a frustrating way and ran his fingers through his hair. "I wouldn't want someone to "fill" your spot Brooke, you did fine in that area. And Peyton isn't like that."

Brooke scoffed. "Whatever, you two would make the perfect couple, you're both liars and selfish." Brooke turned on her heel quickly before Lucas could object.

"Girl troubles?"

Lucas turned around to see Rachel with her arms crossed. "I don't really think it is any of your business matter of fact." Lucas snapped.

Rachel looked hurt, but then smiled cruelly. "In my opinion, Brooke should of done a lot more than yell and scream at you earlier. You're a bastard and Peyton is a cruel-hearted bitch. I honestly don't know what you or any man would ever see in her." Rachel then laughed. "But then again I don't know why Brooke went for you so…I don't know." She shrugged.

"Rachel why don't you go screw another 'twice your age' man and call it good." Lucas smiled back.

"I would smack you but this isn't the time or the place." Rachel snickered and walked away.

"When has that ever stopped you?" Lucas mumbled under his breath.

--&&

Peyton slammed her book bag on the counter in her kitchen in frustration. Why did she wait? Why in the hell did she back down. He was there, giving everything of himself to her, all for her just one year ago. But now she had gone and screwed everything up, again. Maybe her name should be changed to Peyton Elizabeth "Screw-Up" Sawyer. Now Lucas is all hung up on Brooke, even when she is ignoring and not to mention being a total and complete bitch to him. "But that is good ole Luke, making sure everyone is one his good side, never on his bad." Peyton mumbled grimly. She remembered where her dad stored the Jack Daniels.

She walked over to the top cabinet by the coffee pot and opened it. There the bottle sat, and she immediately felt relaxed.

She reached up and grabbed it. Unscrewing the cap and taking a large swig of the strong alcohol.

She walked up to her room, stumbling upon a few steps, the alcohol already hitting her. Once in her room she turned on her record player to "Run" by Snow Patrol. She started to sway her hips to the beat. She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror and saw that she still was wearing the red bridesmaid dress. Feeling claustrophobic, she sat down the bottle and unzipped herself; having the dress fall to the ground revealing her black underwear and black strapless bra. "This will do!" She sang and then burped.

The song was almost done and Peyton was exhausted from drinking as she danced half naked in her room. She collapsed to the floor by her bed. She felt something poke her butt. Peyton reached under and pulled out one of Brookes many perfume bottles. This one in particular was 'With Love' by Hilary Duff. Why she had bought it, only Brooke knew. Peyton threw it hard against the wall adjacent to her and it shattered, leaving a shiny, glittering residue on the wall. "Bitch." She slurred.

The soothing sound of Satchel's song "Suffering" filled the air, along with Duff's stench. Peyton felt a tear glisten down her cheek. After that, she couldn't stop all the rest from crashing down either.

"Damn you Luke, damn you." She managed to get out between her sobs.

--&&

Brooke got out to her car and started it. She hated them, all of them. Maybe she shouldn't hate them but it was so much easier than trying to fix it, so much easier. She had no one to talk to.

She heard a knock on her window and it startled her. It was Rachel. Brooke glared at her and Rachel waved her hand signaling for Brooke to roll down the window. Brooke rolled her eyes but obeyed.

"What?" Brooke scolded.

"Geez, hello to you too Mrs. McBitchy." She smiled.

"Rachel, what are you doing here?" Brooke killed the engine and got out of her car.

"Well I was thinking, since we both don't want to be here, we should totally go drink!" Rachel said in h er best 'Valley Girl' imitation.

"I don't know Rachel…"

"Oh come on Brooke, I saw you in there, being around Peyton and Lucas like that. You will be proud though, I told Lucas what was what." Rachel smiled and folded her arms.

"Why? This is between me and Lucas, Rachel! I can't believe you." Brooke raised her voice.

"You forgot Peyton." Rachel said.

Rolling her eyes Brooke reached behind her to open her door again. "Get in."

--&&

**Leave reviews please!**


	5. Run

**Sometimes Perfection Can Be Perfect Hell**

_"__Run [Part 2__"_

Chapter Four

Lucas was beyond pissed now. He really needed to talk to Peyton, but he knew he has to stay here and wait for his brother and Haley to gain consciences. From the corner of his eye he saw Haley's mother and father arrive. Then from the other corner of his eye he saw his mom run over to them and hug them.

He decided to call Peyton, maybe she would come back up to the hospital.

--&&

"Give me your love, give me your love, give me your love…!" Peyton was singing at the top of her lungs while still dancing around her dark and twisted room. "But I just keep coming back…I should have known right from the start that you would go and break my heart…"

Still in her underwear, she traveled down the hall dancing and leaping around. At this point she was trashed. She was yelling the lyrics to "Heartbreaker" while having one of Haley's blue boas, which she left at her house a couple nights ago around her, neck.

She was in the guest bedroom and saw her Polaroid camera and decided to take some pictures.

Just as she was about to pose for a gangster picture her house phone rang loudly, too loudly. She wrinkled her nose wondering who that could be; everyone knows to reach her on her cell.

She started at the stairs and began to skip down them. But she missed the second to the last step and fell face first. "Ow!"

By the time she got down to the phone, it had stopped ringing and she heard her voice followed by a loud beep.

"Hey Peyton, I don't know what I said to upset you but, could you please come back up to the hospital so we can talk things over. Please Peyton," She heard Lucas pause to take a deep breath. "Just please come back, we can drink some cheap coffee and wait for Haley and Nathan to wake up. Bye."

"Please Peyton, Pleaseeee…" Peyton mocked his voice. "Whatever Lucas, like hell I am going back there to that god forsaken place, let alone to talk things over with you!" She said before she deleted the message.

--&&

Lucas frowned as he closed his flip phone. He felt horrible for whatever he said to her that made her upset. He kept thinking about what she had said before she left; 'A kiss is a kiss, it always means something.' He vaguely remembered Brooke saying something like that before she gave her toast to Nathan and Haley at their wedding reception.

Lucas felt a hand grasp his shoulder to turn around. It was his mom. "Hey mom." He greeted her with a big hug.

"Hey. How are you holding up?" Karen asked Lucas.

Lucas shook his head. "Not too well mom. I need them to wake up, all of them. And," Lucas began to say something but stopped.

"What, what is it Luke?" Karen asked, worried.

"It's nothing. I am just stressed now more than ever. I think I am going to go get some clothes for Nathan and Haley for when they wake up. I will be back soon, need anything while I am out?"

Karen shook her head 'No'.

"Okay, love you." He hugged his mom and left.

--&&

"You know what Rachel, I think I am just going to go home. I need to catch up on some much needed sleep." Brooke said once they pulled up at the bar that they always went to when things got messy.

"Suit yourself. Bye sleeping beauty!" Rachel waved at her as she got out of Brooke's car.

Brooke sighed and then drove off to Nathan and Haley's house, the only place she had left to go for the night.

--&&

**How was it? I know it is kind of short this time but I hit writer's block and thought I should end the chapter where it is.**

**Reviews are lovely things.**

**Toodles!**


	6. Broken

**Sometimes Perfection Can Be Perfect Hell**

_I'm Barely Breathing With A Broken Heart That Is Still Beating_

Chapter Five

**The title of this chapter (Broken) is from the newly released song from Lifehouse. I highly recommended you listen to it while reading this chapter. **

--&

The high from Peyton's fun filled evening was beginning to wear off and she was starting to feel the big hole inside her chest where a heart used to be, now it was just this gangrene heart, nothing. She had been hurt too many times and now she felt like there was too much hurt inside her to have room for a heart that is suppose to give love and feel love. Peyton didn't know anything else to do but cry. Even though she was sick of all the tears, she used to tell herself she would never let a boy break her, but Lucas wasn't just any boy apparently but here she was, lying in her front lawn, fully clothed now, balling her eyes out and counting the stars, even wishing upon a few. She lost her best friend and the potential love of her life all in a time span of twenty-four hours. What a life she lived.

Suddenly sick of her whiny ass self, Peyton pulled herself together and walked back into her empty house.

Once inside she started up the coffee maker and slowly traveled upstairs to her bedroom which now held the most disgusting stench and a glittery stain on her wall. "I really was messed up on the hooch." Peyton said out loud. She began to pick up all the Polaroid pictures along with the camera. Noticing the disturbingly drunken pictures of herself she then picked up her metal trashcan and grabbed her lighter; these pictures needed to be burn or else they could be used for some very interesting blackmails against her and given the fact she pissed off Brooke Davis…well let's not go there. Stopping at one picture where the light from the bathroom made a straight diagonal line across her face, which totally read "Drunk Girl". Peyton liked the picture, maybe could let this was not get burned.

After she was done she walked into her bathroom and stuck the picture in the corner of her mirror, slightly smiling at it, and her. Realizing that it was the first smile she had that was true since she came home, the smile became bigger. "I don't need him, or her. I just need myself. That's all." Peyton said to her reflection. She pulled her hands to her hips and stare at herself for a bit longer before starting up the bath. She opened the cabinet by the sink, finding some strawberry scented bubble bath and vanilla candles. She stripped down from her shorts and hoodie, and took the clip out of her hair, letting it cascade down. Next she lit the candles and poured the bubble bath. As she ran her fingers threw her hair she sighed, already feeling better, she stepped into the steaming hot bath. She sunk her body deep within the soapy, bubbly water. "It's good to be alive…" Was all she mumbled before she closed her eyes and truly relaxed her body and mind and heart.

--&

On the drive to Nathan and Haley's apartment Lucas' thoughts was nothing less than scattered. He kept thinking back to what Peyton said; a kiss is a kiss, and it always means something. What did she mean by that? Okay, if he were telling the truth he would have to say he knew exactly what she meant by it; but that's not what he was willing to believe. Peyton and he were only friends, nothing more. That kiss was a 'teetering life or death' scenario and hell, she'd probably kiss Brooke if she replaced him in the library. Or was the kiss something more? "No." He said aloud in his car, he couldn't believe that. He was still trying to get through to Brooke that his heart was with her, not Peyton.

Not realizing that he was almost to the apartment Lucas stopped his thoughts to notice the baby blue Volkswagen beetle parked dangerously close to Nathan and Haley's apartment building.

After parking and getting out of his car he walked up the stairs to their door. Noticing that is was unlock he welcomed himself inside. "Hello?" Wanting to know if his eyes were deceiving him or not.

"Who is there?" Yelled a very worried and scared Brooke from the back room, Nathan and Haley's room that is.

"Relax it's just Lucas. I am sorry; I didn't know you were here." Lucas started out yelling back to her then lowering his voice as Brooke walked into the living room, in front of him dressed in the shortest pair of pajamas shorts and the tightest tank top. Does she plan on killing him quickly or slowly, because she could take her pick, both were working.

Noticing Lucas staring at her, Brooke grew uncomfortable. "What are you doing here then?" Brooke looked down to her toes, a habit she had always had.

Lucas swallowed hard, "Oh, I was just stopping by to grab some clothes for Nathan and Haley for when they wake up. Let me just grab them and I will go." Lucas said, heading to the bedroom.

"Okay that will be fine." Brooke said grabbing her cheer hoodie from the back of the bar chair and throwing in on before Lucas returned.

Less than five minutes later Lucas returned and was about to go out the door but he stopped and turned around to face Brooke dead in the face. "I am sorry," He put his hand out, trying to emphasize his seriousness. "I should have told you about the kiss, I didn't think much about it Brooke. She was losing a lot of blood and I, both of us, didn't think she was going to make it," Lucas watched Brookes face twitch with what he thought was guilt. "But I was wrong, because it obviously matter a whole deal to you and I regret that I hurt you so. I hope you can forgive me, us, but I can understand if you cannot." Brooke now had her hands in her hoodie's pocket, her bottom lip quivering. "Don't say anything, not yet. I just wanted you to know that. And that I love you, and I know Peyton feels the same." And then he was out of the living room, leaving Brooke to fall on the couch in tears whispering, "I love you too Lucas Scott."

--&

Lucas was driving to the hospital but some ended up on Peyton's block. Since he was already in the neighborhood so to speak, he might as well try and talk to her as well.

He parked the car and traveled up the pathway to her front door. The door was unlocked, not a surprise at all, so he let himself in. As he walked quietly into the Sawyer's household he noticed the empty bottle of Jack Daniels on the kitchen counter and frowned.

"Luke?" Peyton called out from the bottom steps of the stairs, holding a basket of laundry to her right hip.

Lucas turned around grabbing the bottle to face Peyton. "Having a little liquid party without me?" Lucas smiled but was also concerned for his friend.

Peyton laughed it off. "Oh that, that was motivated from the hospital and then regretted afterwards. I am sorry Lucas, I shouldn't have walked out on you at the hospital, I am trying to be your friend and I acted like your enemy." Peyton admitted.

Lucas sat the bottle down and walked over to Peyton. "It is okay but we do need to talk." Lucas stared into her green, hazel eyes; the same blue eyes that make her knees go weak. Just like a cue she almost dropped the heavy basket of laundry all over the kitchen floor. Lucas smiled and offered to carry the basket down to the basement. Peyton said thank you and then they both traveled down the creepy stairs. Although, Peyton didn't feel scared like all the other times.

After dropping the laundry down in the basement the two walked back up the stairs and into the living room where they could talk.

"What is going on Peyt?" Lucas said, concerned.

Peyton took a deep breath. "You really want to know?" She asked, still hoping he would jump up and yell never mind and smile and laugh and it would all be forgotten. After he answered yes she gave up on that theory. "Okay, well it all started right after Nathan and Haley's wedding surprise party. I kind of told her that I still had feelings for you and of course, Brooke got super pissed. But you see, when I was at Jake's in Savannah,"

"Wait you went to go see Jake?" Lucas interjected.

Peyton nodded, "It was the same weekend you went with your mom on a road trip. As I was saying, he said I talked in my sleep and I said "I love you,"" Lucas shot her a look. "Yeah, I know, what's the big deal right? I apparently said "I love you, Lucas." So he had a thought that I still had feelings for you and a place in my heart for you. He told me to go home and see if that was true. He said he didn't want to jump into a wedding when I might not be clear,"

"Wait, a wedding?"

Peyton chuckled at the memory of asking Jake to marry her; his face and Lucas' are quite similar at the moment. "Yes, I had asked him to marry me. Not the point though Lucas, focus." Peyton snapped.

Lucas couldn't help but to chuckle himself, he hadn't ever really seen Peyton this determined to get something out.

"Anyway, he said I needed to go home and figure that out. Which is an insane question and act for me to do because you see Luke, you changed my heart forever, you did. That day you fixed my car, and then turned my drawings into THUD, it all mattered a great deal to me, it still does. It's what gets me through each day. And of course I love you Lucas, I love you a lot and I always will. But Brooke's my friend and even though she isn't talking to me right now I can't betray her again, it would be too much. So I have come to the conclusion tonight, before you got here, that you may be in my heart and I may love you but I am not in love with you." Peyton breathed in after that last sentence, which broke her heart to lie about.

Lucas nodded and looked defeated, which made Peyton look quizzical at best. "I am sorry," Was all Lucas said.

Peyton burrowed her brow at him. "What do you mean?"

"I came between you two again, and between you and Jake." Lucas looked down at the coffee table from where he was sitting on the couch. Peyton, noticing this look of remorse and sadness, walked over and sat down next to him and grabbed his hand and squeezed it, making Lucas refocused his thoughts and attention on her. "You are still my Lucas, and my best friend. And I understand if this was a lot to take in and if you need time to process it you can have time. But I will be here; my door will always be open and unlocked for you. And if Brooke's the one you want next to you when all your dreams come true I think I have a way to help you." Peyton said.

The part of winning Brooke back kind of sparked his attention. "Really?"

Peyton nodded her head, yes.

Within a matter of a second his hopeful look on his face turned realistic. "You know what Peyton; I am tired of trying to win her back all the time. I think I am just done." Lucas admitted as he covered his head in his hands.

Peyton's shoulders collapsed in true defeat. Here she was trying to put her selfish feelings behind her again for the sake of her best friends and it still didn't work. Deciding to ignore that thought, she wrapped her left arm around Lucas and laid her chin on the back of his neck. "I know, I know…" She whispered.

--&

**Here you all go! I am extremely proud of this chapter folks. The next chapter is good for an amazing recovery off the bridge/water victims (AKA: Naley and Coop). Plus, a Breyton confrontation. Stay tuned!**

**Read and Review please! **


	7. Tell Me What We Gonna Do

**A/N: Here is another chapter peeps! This is going to be a chapter split into to two chapters. Nothing big happens in this chapter though, sorry! But please review anyway!! **

* * *

**Sometimes Perfection Can Be Perfect Hell**

_You don't have to make your mind up; I just want to take my time with you_

Chapter Six

Waking up to an annoying alarm clock Peyton groaned and looked over at the time. It was 7:05am on a Saturday for Christ sakes. She reached over and shut it off and rolled over, covering her head with covers and pillows, trying to lock out the bright morning. _Now where was I?_ Peyton thought, remembering her amazing dream about Lucas before the annoying buzzing noise awoke her. Just as she was about to fall back into sleepy land her cell rang loudly which received another loud groan from Peyton. "Do people ever sleep in anymore?" Peyton yelled to no one in particular. "Hello?" Peyton answered not happy with whoever was on the other end.

"Peyton?" Lucas asked, wondering what pissed her off.

"Lucas? Seriously? Seven in the freaking morning?" Peyton grumbled, sitting up in bed and running her free hand through her hair.

"Nathan and Haley are up." Was all Lucas said and instantly Peyton felt horrible for being such a bitch to him.

"I am sorry for being grumpy; do you need me to go with you to the hospital? Or are you already there? Duh you are already there how else would you know there are awake." Peyton smacked her forehead.

"Relax Peyt, yes I am already here but I would really like it if you came up here as well. It is kind of lonely." Lucas hoped she would comply.

Peyton thought about turning him down but she decided she needed to stop hiding from Brooke. "Of course, I will be there in twenty minutes. See you then." She said before she hung up and rushed over to her bathroom and quickly turned on the facet all the way to hot. She stripped off the previous day's clothes and jumped in turning on her shower radio. Singing along to Papa Roach's "Scars" at the top of her lungs and shaking her head like her and Haley used to do. In the process she got shampoo in her eyes which then caused her to whimper, _I freaking hate getting shampoo in my eyes_. Deciding that it was a good time as any to end her shower, Peyton stepped out and grabbed the nearest towel and wiped her eyes. She wrapped said towel around her slender body and walked to her closet and searched for the perfect outfit; eyeing a bright, pink long tee with the breast cancer ribbon across the chest part and a black under tee to go along with her dark blue jeans and chucks. Peyton decided to just let her hair curl instead of taking the time to blow dry it and straighten it. After grabbing her black tote bag she got from her dad the last time he was in town and her car keys she was ready.

&--

Brooke lay in her bed waiting for an urge to get up and do something. But quite frankly she was too damn tired to do squat. She was up all night thinking about what all Lucas said. He said he loved her, and 

she didn't need him to say it to know it. But what she couldn't get past was that it happened, again. She began to wonder last night if this was just suppose to be her life, this never ending sick and twisted dream or love triangles, back stabbing friends, and broken hearts. She wanted to forgive Peyton, she did, but it would be so much easier if she hadn't been the one to kiss Lucas. Who knew, maybe she just needed time.

Her cell phone ringing brought her out of her thoughts. She reached for it with little movement and read that it was Lucas calling. "Hello?" She said groggy.

"Hey, Nathan and Haley are awake, I thought you would like to know." Lucas said, with little emotion, which frightened Brooke. Lucas used to always have an air of confidence around her and it was heard now.

"Oh, well thanks, I appreciate that Luke." Brooke bit her lip nervously.

"Listen, Peyton is coming up here in a few minutes so if you decide to come up here please don't start anything with her." Lucas pleaded with her.

Brooke felt a little angry that he would jump to those conclusions, but decided to leave it alone and told him that she would come up later this afternoon. Lucas thanked her and they hung up.

Brooke tossed her phone to the edge of the bed in defeat._ I have no friends, really I don't. This is really sad…_she thought before getting up and walking to the kitchen to get a pint of ice cream and a spoon. She wished Haley was here so they eat ice cream together and talk about their issues. Then another person came into her mind and how much Brooke missed her. Getting an idea, she took one bite of ice cream and then put it back up in the freezer, then took off down the hall to the bathroom.

&--

Peyton arrived at the hospital quickly and looked for Lucas in the crowded waiting room, instead spotted Skills.

"Yo skinny girl, get over here and give your big boy a huggin!" Skills roared and Peyton smiled.

After they were done with their hug Skills sighed. "You and L get together yet?" Skills whispered.

Peyton gasped and smacked him on the arm, "What do you mean?"

"Oh I think you know what I mean P. Sawyer. I know all." Skills stuck his chin in the air.

Peyton couldn't help but fall into a fit of laughter because of this. "Where is Lucas, I know you know."

"In Haley's room the last time I checked. Let me know when you jump on that." Skills yelled causing Peyton to turn around give Skills a glare.

Peyton was almost to Haley's room when someone pulled her arm into an empty hospital room. What the-Brooke?" Peyton asked surprised.

"I think we need to talk." Brooke informed Peyton.

Peyton nodded, "Okay…"


End file.
